Can I Still Get Them Back?

Known as a relationship expert, frequently people come to me and ask me the following question: "My tale is this:______ (here are all the nasty and painful details). Can I still get my ex back?"

Ever thought about this? I surely did.

I additionally know

As people we have an ingrained psychological necessity to feel and practice our power.

Of course This doesn't mean anything weird such as being powerful than others, or simply bullying people. What it really means is that we need to feel like we have some control over our own lives.

One of the most devastating things about a breakup is the loss of this sensation of power. The choice of our happiness feels like it has been taken from us. That is devastating to our state of well being.

Understand me? Have you ever felt this way?

If so, I come with good news. You can change this emotion by changing the way you look at the whole situation. Or, to put it another way, by modifying the way you interpret it. What this will do for you is allow you to feel much better and be stronger, more confident and happier than you would have been usually.

Now let me show you the first step: the way you understand a situation has everything to do with how you feel about it.

Usually after a breakup, we think our ex isn't thinking about us at all, that they have moved on, and they're happy with their life without us. This is damaging to our well being.

Who says they are moving on and they're happy with their life? You do. If you are telling yourself a thing that makes you feel like trash, wouldn't you want to correct that ?

If you're not willing to try it, then you are definitely dedicated to being miserable. If you aren't willing to TRY something that can make you feel better, than you are choosing to be miserable.

Okay, so what can you think on the other hand? Think this: "My ex misses me because we shared some intense feelings. Your ex may seem to be doing better, but it's just an act. They are a better actor than I am, but they share no less pain."

This allows you to feel wanted. In order to feel a sensation of strength again, imagine if you were to believe the argument above was true. Wouldn't you feel stronger, more confident and more sure of how to move forward? Wouldn't you feel you had more alternatives than just waiting for them to call you, text you or ask you out? Wouldn't it feel like the sincerest needs we have (to feel desired, to have some sense of control over our own lives) would be more satisfying ?

Indeed.

Still reading this ? Good for you, Try our other posts maybe you'll find something useful for you !